Trusting the Abundance of the Feast

On this final Sunday of our winter retreat, this blissful stretch of days at home, I searched through the furthest reaches of the pantry for some “special tea.” I found a forgotten bag of loose chocolate mint roobois from our local tea room that I simply adore. I looked to my husband and remarked that he had bought this for me, once upon a time. He looked confused, “uh, must have been a long time ago.”

0172It was. Early in our courtship I would often go away on the weekends. Determined to prove my independence and let him know that I would be maintaining my own life, I resisted commitment every step of the way. I would return home to little gifts from a brilliantly persistent man intent upon taming a young redhead convinced she valued freedom over security, spontaneity over real love.

The morning’s tea was lovely, but not as nice as it might have been if I had enjoyed it back when it was first given to me as a token of a young romance. It was rich with memory, but it lacked the piquancy it once had when it was fresh.

This is not some oblique metaphor to say that my marriage has gone flat. Instead, it just sets me thinking about the odd ways we hoard our little treats, delaying our pleasures until we eventually we realized they have gone a little stale.

How many perfumes and lotions have you saved for special occasions only to find them in the back of the cabinet, their magic faded, their sweet essences separated into their uninspired base ingredients? How often has the treasured saffron turned into flavorless threads of crimson while you waited for that golden day you would create a paella your beloved ones would never forget? (Last night I threw my saffron saving self to last year’s hungry dogs and made this amazing North African chickpea and kale soup.)

This year, wisps of resolutions are coming to me in the form of little lessons, like when I sip my tea’s faded glory and when I generously toss spices into the mix.

Trust in abundance. Believe that you can enjoy what the Universe has given you. Be secure that what you need will come to you, even if you open your cupboards wide to share your bounty. Don’t hoard your own talents or your material treasures for a rainy day that will never come. Live in this moment. Allow your wings to spread to their fullest span.

Now, I am not celebrating the feckless grasshopper at the expense of the assiduous ant. I stand by the belief that frugality is not a crime. I am just talking about enjoying the simple luxuries you have and allowing them to make each day a little sweeter.

* * *

photo by: xllukins

Today the Church celebrates the Feast of the Epiphany. The name of this blog was fueled only by a purely secular glory of revelation, and never even knew when the Epiphany was or what it really meant until last year.

And though I am growing more comfortable with Christianity in many ways, I realize that this feast does not necessarily speak to me directly, at least not the story itself does not. The appearance of the Wise Men, the giving of the gifts, heralding Christ’s birth to the gentiles. I think the weight of this story is finding me on a more subterranean level. The gift of tea seems to conjure frankincense, perhaps?

One symbol that does speak to me: following your star.

As a watcher of the skies and a dancer of the moon, I can hook myself to that great star that guided the Magi. For now it is leading me to epiphanies much more mundane that the birth of the savior, but it seems that it is all this sweetly contented moment in my life seems to require.

4 thoughts on “Trusting the Abundance of the Feast

  1. Danny Lucas January 4, 2009 / 8:23 pm

    When Herod heard that a king had been born, he was determined to have no competitor, and killed all babies under age 2 near Bethlehem.

    The moment the Messiah was born, he was a fugitive from the law. His step dad, Joe, was a carpenter. To make a living, he needed to set up a shop and craft goods. This is hard to do when you are on the lamb and running around the globe with God’s son, and the mother Mary.

    The Wise Men were used by God to give gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. These are not your typical baby gifts, but this was not a typical baby.

    The gold is self explanatory to provide food, shelter, and clothing in the 2 year hideout in Egypt until Herod died. (Then it was off to Nazareth and become full time carpenter).

    Frankincense is an expensive product as it is labor intensive, like the crocus stigmata for saffron for your paella. It could be used and/or sold in the two year odyssey. It is for healing.

    Myrrh greeted Christ at birth, and death. It was a Magi gift of great value. It was also used to annoint the crucified body of Christ as he reentered the dimension of infinity, and left time. Ironically, it is a pain reliever….just as Christ would relieve the pain of sin in sinners.

    All of these precious gifts could be hoarded, savored for special occasions, or used each day under the full knowledge that God provides protection and provision in abundance when needed.

    Your tea of courtship and romance brew (was it Love Potion Number 9 ???), your saffron threads, indeed lost piquancy over time. I find that realization by you,…
    an epiphany in itself this day.

    Always use your best daily.
    God will provide more as needed, and it will be His best.

    Marry a redhead appears a Wise Man move too, eh? My hat is off to hubby for persistence. Getting the best in life requires that character trait.

    Given the post on abundance, quickly followed by the thoughts on Epiphany…..have started your year well in Align.

    • girlwhocriedepiphany January 7, 2009 / 9:58 am

      Dear Danny, Your comments are always such a gift – like a good book I want to tuck myself into a window seat with and explore for as long as I can. Thank you for this lucid retelling of the Epiphany story; I am so glad that you have folded it into the mix.
      Husband’s persistence remains a marvel, and a gift. I needed someone whose determination could match my own – and there he was.
      And yes, I think this year is starting off well, aligned and all.

      Dear Pam, In some ways talking about trusting abundance in times like this seems like madness, but it is also the only real survival technique we have. There will be enough. The definition of “enough” will keep shifting and may be made of fewer and few material things in the future, but we will adapt and trust that the Universe will provide.

      Dear Graciel, I am so glad to have been here for you. xo right back.

  2. pam at beyondjustmom January 4, 2009 / 10:40 pm

    Such a bittersweet post with a hopeful finish. I love what you’ve said about trusting in abundance. Those daily pleasures mean something. There have been times when I’ve found myself hoarding the little things, in fear of losing them, when I’ve actually created the loss of something more valuable.
    Thank you for the reminder (and also for Danny’s beautiful connection to epiphany!).

  3. Graciel January 5, 2009 / 3:02 pm

    Thank you. I needed your wisdom today.

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